Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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