i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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