so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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