just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize