stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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