Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
