gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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