I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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