They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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