There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
