You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
