Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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