On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Terrible idea I love it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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