Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
