loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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