After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
