I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
