Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
