I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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