If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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