Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
