i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Randomize