Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Randomize
