Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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