whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think your dad took our porno
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
