I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
