Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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