I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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