were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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