so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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