Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
