I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
