Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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