Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
