i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
