My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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