Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Houston, we have a blender
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
