The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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