take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
