So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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