So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
