shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
