I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
