All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
