Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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