I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
