your thong is hanging out like whoa
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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