For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
