you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
