Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
