I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
