maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
His nipple licking is glorious
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