I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
