whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
