you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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