Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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