Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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