google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
