how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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