You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
